The Shortcut Is Costing You

Over the last few weeks, I’ve found myself having versions of the same conversation with a lot of different practices. The circumstances are different, the people are different, and sometimes the issue on the surface has absolutely nothing to do with the one I discussed the day before. But underneath it all, I keep seeing the same thing: we are in such a hurry to get to the answer that we are skipping some of the most important parts of the conversation.

I understand why. Dental practices are busy places. There are patients waiting, phones ringing, schedules that need to be filled, treatment that needs to be discussed, team issues that need to be dealt with and about 400 other things competing for your attention at any given moment. Efficiency matters. I am a huge fan of good systems, clear expectations and eliminating unnecessary steps.

But I think sometimes we confuse efficiency with effectiveness, especially when people are involved.

A new patient calls and asks whether you take their insurance, and because we know exactly how to answer that question, we answer it. A patient hesitates about treatment, so we start explaining all the reasons they should move forward. Someone on the team is upset, and instead of having a potentially uncomfortable conversation, we make an assumption about what they are thinking and move on. A patient cancels at the last minute (again), and because we want to be gracious and helpful, we immediately make it easy for them to grab another appointment.

None of those responses are necessarily wrong. In fact, most of them come from a good place. We’re trying to help. We’re trying to solve the problem. We’re trying to keep things moving.

But what if moving things along isn’t always the goal?

One of the things I talk about constantly is curiosity, and the older I get, the more convinced I am that it may be one of the most underrated skills we have—not just in dentistry, but in leadership and relationships in general.

Before I explain, what could I ask?

Before I assume I know why someone feels the way they do, have I actually asked them?

Before I tell the patient what I think they should do, do I understand what matters most to them?

Before I solve the problem someone just brought me, do they even want me to solve it?

Before I jump in to fill an uncomfortable silence, what might happen if I gave them another few seconds to think?

We are so conditioned to believe that being helpful means having the answer. Sometimes being helpful means being willing to stay in the conversation a little longer.

I’ve seen this play out with doctors who desperately want their teams to follow the systems they have worked hard to create. The natural instinct is to talk more about the systems, explain why they matter and remind everyone ONE MORE TIME what they are supposed to be doing. But sometimes the better question is, “What is making this difficult for us to consistently do?” That question may uncover something another explanation never will.

I’ve seen it with teams who have become frustrated with one another. Instead of talking directly to the person involved, they begin filling in the blanks. We humans are remarkably good at that. We decide what someone meant, why they did something or what their facial expression was telling us. Then we start looking for evidence that proves our story is right. Before long, we aren’t reacting to what actually happened anymore; we’re reacting to the story we’ve created around it.

And I see it with patients all the time. They ask a question, and because we know the answer, we start talking. We explain insurance, fees, treatment, timing and options. Meanwhile, we may have completely missed the more important question: Why are they really asking?

There is a little reminder I’ve used for years that I still think is one of the best communication tools we have: WAIT — Why Am I Talking?

Not because talking is bad. Not because we shouldn’t educate patients, communicate expectations or address issues. Of course we should. But there is a big difference between talking because the other person wants our help and talking because we are uncomfortable with the space.

Sometimes we rush because silence feels awkward. Sometimes we explain because we want someone to agree with us. Sometimes we solve because it makes us feel useful. Sometimes we make something easy because we don’t want to have a difficult conversation.

And sometimes the shortcut we take to get through the moment creates a much bigger problem later.

So maybe the challenge this week is simply to notice it.

Notice the next time you feel yourself rushing toward the answer. Notice when you’re halfway through an explanation and realize you still don’t know what the other person thinks. Notice when you catch yourself making an assumption about someone instead of asking them. Notice the urge to rescue someone from silence.

And then stay curious just a little bit longer.

Ask one more question.

You may find that the thirty seconds you thought you were saving was actually the most important part of the conversation.

Try This This Week: The One More Question Challenge

For one day this week, pay attention to the moments when you feel yourself wanting to answer, explain, fix, defend or move the conversation along. Those are your cues.

Before you respond, ask yourself three quick questions:

1. What am I assuming right now?

2. What do I still not know?

3. What is one more question I could ask before I give my answer?

Then actually ask it.

If a new patient asks, “Do you take my insurance?” instead of immediately launching into the insurance explanation, you might ask, “Absolutely, I can help you with that. Before we get into the insurance piece, tell me a little about what prompted you to call us.”

If someone on the team seems frustrated, instead of deciding you know why, ask, “Help me understand what’s bothering you most about this.”

If a patient says, “I need to think about it,” resist the urge to explain the treatment one more time. Try, “Of course. What part are you thinking through?”

If someone isn’t following a system, instead of reminding them again how the system works, ask, “What is getting in the way of this working consistently?”

The goal isn’t to come up with the perfect question. The goal is to interrupt our tendency to assume we already know the answer.

At the end of the day, take five minutes and think about three conversations:

Where did I ask instead of tell?
What did I learn that I wouldn’t have known otherwise?
Did anything change because I stayed curious a little longer?

If you want to take it one step further, do this as a team. At your morning huddle, ask everyone to look for one opportunity that day to ask one more question before explaining or solving. The next morning, have each person share what happened.

My guess is you’ll hear some surprises. And that’s really the point. If we already knew everything the other person was thinking, curiosity wouldn’t matter.

But we don’t. So before you rush to the answer this week, WAIT. Why Am I Talking?

Maybe there’s one more question worth asking first.