Power Up Your Day: Harnessing the Magic of Positive Affirmations

Life can certainly be miserable at times, and we can’t always change the stressors accounting for that misery.  But our mindset during those rough patches can either stagnate us or help us move forward. One way to change our mindset is through positive affirmations.

What are positive affirmations?

I’m definitely dating myself here, but when I first heard the term ‘positive affirmation’, I couldn’t help but think of Stuart Smalley on SNL back in the day.  Before I knew better it seemed like a bunch of mumbo jumbo. 

Positive affirmations are phrases you can say, either aloud or in your head, to affirm yourself and build yourself up — but not just in the midst of difficult situations.   Did you know that  scientific evidence proves that affirmations actually ‘train’ our brains to be more equipped to navigate tough stuff? It’s true!! 

How to choose a positive affirmation

There’s no one-size-fits-all affirmation, so you’ll have to figure out which feels right to you. It could be something positive about a certain quality or a good choice you’ve made, or just something affirming of your self-worth.  

My main affirmation is something I say outloud every morning when my alarm goes off - ‘Nothing will steal my joy today’   I’m certainly not perfect, but by making that declaration each morning before my feet hit the floor, I’m telling myself that I will not allow anyone or anything to dictate how my day goes. I may receive bad news, the weather might be crummy, others  I come in contact with may be in a bad mood… but those things don’t have to determine my attitude. 

Avoid toxic positivity by thinking ‘possibility’, instead

Positive thinking is pretending things are good (that’s why some of us are so annoyed by positive thinkers)

Thinking Possibility is an ended pathway; you can always find a pathway in every situation, regardless of how bad it is.  There’s no situation so good that it’s not open to the downward spiral.  (fear, jealousy, competition).  When you have success, you’re always worried you’re going to fail.  That paradigm (downward spiral) measurement and competition can cause fear, anxiety, pressure. Most of us spend our time in that world.  That’s why so many are terrified to make a mistake. We self-medicate to avoid the feelings. 

Employing positive affirmations doesn’t mean talking yourself into denying the difficulties of your life or the world around you.  

Standing in front of the mirror and saying, ‘You’re awesome’ and ‘You’re beautiful,’ can feel very inauthentic.  And honestly? “Good vibes only” isn’t realistic or all that helpful.

Instead, identify positive affirmations that acknowledge the reality of your current situation but call on your own ability to push through and to thrive.

Acknowledge hardship

Life sucks sometimes!  Over the last year and a half my precious Dad has dealt with end-stage kidney failure.  He was ultimately healed in January 2024, but it was a tough time.  Even though he is no longer suffering, we are grieving.  But you know what?  Even through the unthinkable, I had the opportunity to choice joy and gratitude by CHOOSING to do so.

Positive affirmations could be tailored to the issues and concerns you’re facing.  

Here are some examples…

• “I am strong enough to handle what’s happening to me right now.”
• “This situation is difficult, but I have the skills and abilities to deal with it.”
• “I can ride this out and not let it get to me.”
• “I’ve survived other situations like this, and I’ll survive this one, too.”

Remember: It’s not about denial, which isn’t a healthy coping strategy. If you simply proceed through hard times as though your feelings don’t exist, they’ll still lurk beneath the surface, weighing you down. Affirmations like these make space for your feelings while also calling on your ability to get through them.

Affirmations acknowledge that what’s going on right now isn’t ideal but that you can get through it like you’ve gotten through other difficult things.

How to get the most out of positive affirmations

1. PRACTICE thinking possibility

Like anything else, positive affirmations take work. If you’re not used to saying them and don’t do so on a regular basis, they probably won’t make much of a difference in a moment of need.

If we want to start to make less room for the ANTS (automatic negative thoughts),  we have to intentionally practice positive thoughts. 

2. Put your skepticism on hold

Let’s be real: It can feel kind of weird to stand in the mirror and say nice things to yourself, but try to resist the temptation to give up!

If you’re typically a negative thinker, it’s not realistic to expect to become a positive thinker overnight. Be patient and give it some time to sink in and feel normal. Habits take a minimum of 21 days to stick!

3. Say them aloud!

Whether you say your positive affirmations aloud or just mentally repeat them to yourself is up to you, but the former is probably the best way to start. Hearing things out loud is more impactful than saying them in your mind.

Here are some ideas for when and how to say your affirmations:

• Write your positive affirmations on notecards or sticky notes and post them on your bathroom mirror, on the fridge and on any other prominent place.
• Keep your affirmations in an app or notes section on your phone so you can access them throughout the day.
• Add your affirmation to your phone wallpaper

Pair your affirmations with action

Thinking Possibility is one of the first steps toward positive action — but positive thinking alone won’t do the trick.

I always tell people that changing their thinking is super important but that what’s really convincing to us, as humans, is when we see a change in behavior.

Maybe you’re in the habit of pre-judging patients.  Try saying this before planning appointments-  ‘This patient wants what we can do for them, and they can afford it’  Think about it… you didn’t drag them in off of the street. Patients come to you of their own free will for solutions. By prejudging, you are deciding who gets to hear about ideal dentistry.  Take action by asking the right questions of patients to find out what’s important to them. 

You have to give yourself the chance to have interactions that prove your negative thinking wrong - When you end up seeing that what you assumed would happen didn’t bear out, that helps reinforce your new mindset.

Footnote - When positive affirmations don’t work

Positive affirmations might help you persevere and keep faith in yourself through challenges, but if you can’t seem to shake persistent feelings of self-doubt and negativity, it may be time to speak with a mental health professional who can help you learn to cope.  As a recipient of counseling, I can’t emphasize this enough.