Mrs. Grouchy-Pants Is on the Schedule. Now What?

You know the patient whose name on the schedule gets a collective sigh? It’s tempting to spend the morning huddle preparing for battle—or drawing straws to see which assistant gets to work with the doctor that day.

But you have no idea what that patient may be carrying through the door. And if we’ve contributed to their frustration, we have an opportunity to own it and make it right. So before you grab the short straw, what if you decided to…leave them better than you found them?

That might sound like a tall order when the patient hasn’t even walked in and your team is already bracing for impact. But think about what happens when we decide ahead of time that someone is going to be difficult. We watch for the first complaint. We get defensive. Or we tiptoe through the appointment, afraid that one wrong word will set them off.

Or maybe we blasted them during the morning huddle, creating a story that likely isn't even true. Patients can feel that tension. And it rarely brings out the best in anyone.

When someone is short with us, it’s natural to think, What did I do? Most of the time the answer is nothing.

People arrive carrying pressures we know nothing about. Maybe she’s worried about the cost of treatment. Maybe she’s scared of what the doctor will find, exhausted from caring for a parent, or fresh off a terrible morning at work. We might be the first people she’s spoken to since getting news she hasn’t shared with anyone else.

We don’t know her story. That’s why we shouldn’t make her mood our story.

Of course, sometimes we have contributed to the frustration. Maybe we kept her waiting without an update, quoted a fee incorrectly, or didn’t follow through on something we promised. If that’s the case, own it! Apologize sincerely and take a step to make it right.

“I’m sorry we didn’t let you know about the delay. I can see why that was frustrating. Let me find out where things stand.”

Taking accountability and taking things personally are two different things. One helps you respond. The other can leave you defending yourself before you’ve even understood what happened.

But again, most of the time when a patient shows up in a sour mood, it's not your fault.  But you get to choose how to respond. So take a breath and get curious. You could say, “Help me understand what’s been most frustrating for you today.” or "How can we make you as comfortable as possible while you're here today?" Then listen to the answer—even if the first few words come out sharper than you’d like.

You can be warm without walking on eggshells. You can be clear without being defensive. And you can hold a boundary if someone’s behavior crosses a line while still treating them with respect.

Will every patient leave smiling? No. But imagine what could change if your team’s goal wasn’t simply to get through the appointment. What if the goal was to leave that person feeling heard, cared for, and perhaps a little lighter than when they arrived?

Your Challenge This Week

The next time that name shows up on the schedule:

1. Skip the predictions. Start the huddle by asking, “How can we make today a better experience for this patient?”
2. Pause before taking a sharp comment personally. Remind yourself that you may be seeing only a small piece of someone’s day.
3. Get curious—and own your part. Listen for what’s bothering them. If your team missed the mark, apologize and make it right.
4. Look for one way to leave them better. It might be a clear answer, a thoughtful update, or simply a moment when they feel someone is truly listening.

Mrs. Grouchy-Pants may still have a grouchy day. But she might also leave with a very different story about your practice. And your team might, too!